How You Can Help Others Soar Higher This Holiday Season

Ashley was only four years old when she died. Her parents thought she had the flu. And, since they didn’t have the means to pay for a doctor, they treated her symptoms by giving her home remedies. But it wasn’t the flu; it was meningitis. By the time they got her to a hospital, it was too late.

I’ve gone through a lot in my life. But nothing prepared me for what I witnessed while volunteering in Manila. Part of my plan was to help fund programs for sick children in impoverished sections of the capital city and in rural provinces hours away from East Ave. Medical Center.

“What Have I Gotten Myself Into?”

I came across so many heartbreaking cases on that mission to the Philippines. But Ashley’s story hit some really deep chords.

My colleagues told me that I should go to “the viewing.” In my naivety, I assumed it was the typical funeral-home setting where people pay last respects to the family, say a prayer, and move on. But I was in for a real shock.

I got the first hunch that this was going to be different when I was told that I wouldn’t be picked up until around midnight. While the location wasn’t far away, we needed to wait until traffic subsided or we would be stuck for hours.

It was pouring rain when the car picked me up, and the driving conditions were treacherous. We had been traveling through the slums of Manila for about 30 minutes when we came to an abrupt stop in front of a dark alleyway, and the driver announced that we had to make the rest of our journey by foot.

All sorts of thoughts started going through my head at that moment: “Are you really going to walk through a dark alley at this hour of the night?” “Have you lost your mind?” “You’ve done it this time—I can just see the headlines: ‘American missing in Manila without a trace.’”

As the “itty-bitty-shitty committee” in my head kept yelling at me for what my brain called “an insane move,” I noticed a distant light. My inner rant quieted as I tried to make sense of what was in front of us. But, I couldn’t. It was like nothing I had ever seen before—not even in the movies.

A Family’s Resourcefulness in the Face of Abject Grief

Before me was a shack with no door. The dim light I had seen in the distance came from a candelabra borrowed from the local church. A small, white plastic casket sat on the ground with a picture of a beautiful little girl sitting on top. Ashley had a playful smile and a twinkle in her eye that hinted at a touch of mischief. Buckets catching the rain leaking through the roof covered most of the floor, and about a dozen plastic chairs were set up in rows in front of the casket. Ashley’s parents and a grandmother sat on the first row, hunched over with blank stares of pure shock. Two small children slept laying across two chairs against the wall.

But what really caught my attention was the scene outside the shack. There was a tarp that hung across the road. Underneath it, there were tables with dozens of people playing cards.

I couldn’t understand how these two scenes came together. I guess my look of bewilderment was so obvious that someone finally pulled me aside and explained that when people don’t have money to bury their loved ones, they host gambling parties. The winner donates part of the winnings toward the funeral costs. Sometimes, I was told, it takes weeks before a family can raise enough cash.

As I walked back to the car, I was in awe as to how resourceful humans are and how we manage to persevere even during the hardest and most painful times in our lives. But, as a mother, my heart ached for this grieving family. I couldn’t imagine the pain they were going through—and the helplessness they must have felt for not having enough money put their child to rest. With tears in my eyes, and a heart full of gratitude for the life I get to live, I decided to reach into my own pocket to pay for the burial of this little angel.

During that mission to the Philippines, I learned many lessons that have been life-altering. I also gained perspective that shaped my thinking and gave me context for Practice #7 of the Fly-High Method, Help Others Soar Higher. I firmly believe that, in order to reach our fullest potential in life, we must be willing to make a difference in the lives of others.

Will You Help Me Help Others in the Philippines Soar Higher?

In honor of Ashley—and all the sick children and families I served while volunteering in Manila—I am donating all proceeds from the sale of my book this month to programs in the Philippines that help sick children who are stuck in poverty.

This holiday season is the perfect time for all of us to lend a helping hand!

In the spirit of the season, please go to Amazon or Smashwords and buy Fly High! A Far-From-Typical Guide to Get Unstuck, Regain Hope, and Seek New Possibilities. Buy it for yourself or for someone who you think will benefit from the Fly-High Method. You’ll not only be contributing to a great cause, but you’ll also add a great book to your own self-help library, too! ?